My sister is twelve years old, and she bakes. Well, she just discovered that she loves to bake, and has been experimenting a lot – and I get to taste her latest and pass or fail them. Considering I have a sweet tooth, and will like anything as long as its dessert, she’s lucky. And so she bakes, and I eat.
Today she baked ‘Lemon squares’, which were kind of like tarts with crumbly crusty pastry, a thick, gooey lemon filling and generously dusted with icing sugar. They were really, really good, and in spite of that tiny voice in the back of my head warning me about the number of calories in those things, I kept eating, until there were only about two squares left for my dad to taste (mum’s diabetic and so she cant eat any).
The rest of my day I spent consumed by guilt – how could I possibly get that perfect body I’ve been dreaming of if I’m going to be defeated by things like lemon tarts? I’ve been swimming and cycling – and then gorging on all these unhealthy, but most wonderfully yummy things. Why do all the good things in life have to be fattening or expensive? *sigh*
I spent the whole day pondering. I really want to lose a few kilos, and get fit. I should state here, that for me, getting fit is a major concern, but that doesn’t mean it should be so for every one else. It is truly a wonderful thing if you are completely comfortable in the body you have and feel sexy the way you are – and I envy the people who are that way. Because I’m not one of those people. And I have decided that I’m going to get that body I’ve dreamed of, if only I could control my let’s-binge-on-dessert phases (like the one I had today)!
But faced with the happiness on my sister’s face at the success of her new baked goods, and the happiness in my heart (and tummy) while i ate it- I was in a dilemma. Because this was something I really liked, and I realized, it’s not going to change. I will always look for chocolate in the fridge when I’m in a bad mood. I will always rush for some tiramisu ice cream when I’m crying. I will always eat whatever new (or old) dessert my sister bakes for me- i mean, for us.
Well, what can I say? Dessert makes me happy, just as much as swimming does. And just as much as the thought of getting fit does! I will just have to learn to incorporate these two clashing desires happily. Ensuring maximum satisfaction.