Solitude.

The past two days were pleasant and calming, just what I needed after a weekend of hell. I really, really did not enjoy last weekend – travelling about 200 kms up and down cramped in a small car bursting with four other people, forced to eat food that I didn’t want to eat, being surrounded by a whole lot of people I didn’t know at all, or didn’t like at all, and craving, just craving for my mum’s home cooked meals was not how I thought I’d spend the weekend. Which is why, the past two days, I’ve made a conscious effort to relax myself, my exhausted body and my very upset mind.

Yesterday, I woke up early enough for college (I had my psychology practical exam that afternoon). There is a small, cosy café called Desserted right opposite college, and that’s where I headed after having my bath and getting dressed. I was the first customer that morning, but since I came there very, very often, I was quite comfortable by myself. Also, I was craving some alone time after my super-crowded weekend. I ordered myself a nice breakfast – cheese omelette, potato fries and lightly toasted bread, with a cup of cooling green tea. The omelette was oozing with cheese, and the fries hot and crunchy and the green tea was absolutely amazing. I opened my books, and studied as I ate my breakfast, savouring everything. Savouring every bite of food I had, every sip of green tea, and every moment I was there, alone by myself, and doing my own thing.

The day went on, and I met my friends, and gave my practical exam, and left for home. I watched Casablanca – because I have suddenly developed an interest in watching movies. I made myself buttered toast with honey for dinner. And then I went to bed.

This morning, I was woken up by my friends asking me to meet them at Starbucks. I had a long, hot bath, complete with perfumed body wash and light music in the background. I felt like dressing up today, for no reason really, and I went ahead and put on my nicest clothes and kajal and lip gloss.

At Starbucks, I was about to order my favourite drink there as usual – a signature hot chocolate – but I decided to try something else today. I had a java chip Frappuccino with hazelnut syrup and it was super good. My friend had a white chocolate mocha topped with caramel syrup, which was delicious too. We talked about a whole lot of things, and even got free samples of hot chocolate, which they were testing out, and which turned out to be quite delicious.  After my friends left, I walked down along Brigade Road and I realized that it was the first time I had ever walked through Brigade Road alone. And I know it was such a small thing, but it made me feel so happy. Being by myself made me so happy, because that was just what I needed right then. I decided to drop into the small, almost hidden bookshop I was very fond of, to see if they had Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. They did, but it exceeded my budget, so I decided to ask my dad buy it for me when he was here next, or when I went back home to Chennai next.

I caught an autorikshaw home, and changed into my pyjamas. And here I am, writing this post. It probably recounts two very uneventful, almost boring days of my life. But the reason it’s up here is because I don’t want to forget how free I felt these two days. How free, independent and content with myself. I want to do this more often, and explore more. And when I start earning, I want to be able to go anywhere, and spend my time doing what I felt like doing that day. Solitude, of the right kind, and in the right amounts is a blessing, a beautiful thing indeed.

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