So this is my thing: You know how most kids go through an ‘I want a dog’ phase? And they scream and cry and do everything to get one? I haven’t grown out of that phase, and I won’t ever. I want a dog. And I don’t have one. And sometimes, I really have to whine about this or else I will die, and therefore this is going to be a whine-y, emotional, personal post. You’ve been warned.
I’m back in Chennai for the summer, and I’ve been going out, meeting my friends. So last night, I slept over at my best friend’s place. Her doggy, Elmo, is almost two years old now (he’s a German Shepherd). He is adorable, and I love him with all my heart. I spent a lot of time with him, and I felt this joy within me, this joy I’ve craved for ever since I was a little girl. But I know he’s not mine, and that this fleeting moment is all I have with him, just as with every other dog I’ve met. Just like the newest addition to my cousin’s family back in Bangalore – a two month old Labrador puppy (I can’t wait to get back and meet him). I never for a second wished that any of these dogs were mine, because they are somebody else’s dogs, they were their very own, personal joy-givers, and I would never want to spoil that (not that I could even if I wanted to).
I have been through some tough times like every body else, and I look back at it and think that things would have been extremely different if I had a dog. Things would have been a gazillion times better. That is how I feel. Because during those times, that’s all I wanted – a companion, someone I could put my whole trust in.
My parents never bought me a dog, despite my numerous tantrums and crying and pleading and what not. They always told me “Next year”. It’s been fourteen years since. I guess they had their reasons – we lived in an apartment, and it would be impractical to raise a big dog here; my sister was still a baby; by the time she grew up she decided she was going to be scared of dogs forever – so basically, we never got a dog.
Which is why I have decided – that when I start working, and when I’m living on my own terms in my own little place, I am going to buy myself a dog. Or adopt. And he will be MY dog. I know it won’t be easy to raise a dog, I know I might find it to be the hardest thing in the world even, but I’m ready to do all that. I’m ready to do all that because I will love my dog very much, and he will love me back, and we will have a bond that no one in the world can break.