Forgive me, for I have been so embarrassingly inactive on WordPress for the last couple (or more) months. I can give no other excuses apart from the most used one of them all – I had no time. Well, ofcourse I had time to squeeze in a blog post – but about what? That’s what I didn’t have time for. My brain was already so cramped with all these things in there fighting for attention – my exams, applying for a master’s next year, what I should do in life, my internship, my credit courses, well, it would suffice to say my brain was so full of things there was hardly any space for a creative article idea to pop up, that was good enough to write about.
But excuses are excuses, and I apologize. Here’s a cute puppy gif to make up for it :
Today I realized that I owe it to myself to just let it all go for a while, and just blog a bit. So I’ve decided to write about a new revelation I’ve had – about myself.
Ever since I could remember – I’ve had questions about religion. I realized I never felt the same way about it as other people. I grew up in a Hindu family, went to a largely Hindu populated school and am now in a Christian college and I have friends who practice many different religions. But I have always had my questions about God, and for the longest time, I even feared God. I would pray every day – I would actually start my day with a prayer. And every time I passed by a temple, I would raise my hands to my lips and then to my chest and mutter a small prayer. I wouldn’t go into the Prayer room or the kitchen when I had my periods, because I was told not to. Oh, there were a hundred other things I would do, that hundreds of other people also did – and I’m sure it made sense to them, but to me, it didn’t.
And one day, a few months back, I thought about why exactly I still practiced a religion if I didn’t believe in the customs and the rituals. I didn’t even believe in the God that my religion told me about. Now let me make myself clear – I do believe that there could be a God, but just not the way my religion (or any other religion) described God. Firstly, I thought it mighty presumptuous of the Human race to think that God looks like us. That He has a gender and that that gender is a He mostly, not a She. And coming from a country like India – where you can see people throwing out pumpkins and rice grains and coconuts that were perfectly edible out on the streets after using them for poojas and rituals and pouring down tonnes of milk on stone statues when there are thousands of people who go hungry and beg on the streets for food – I really couldn’t see the justice in it.
And so I have converted, officially, and I am a Hindu no more. Neither am I a Christian or a Buddhist or a Muslim – I just have too many bones to pick with religion as such. For something that preaches peace and love and equality, it is the main cause of one too many wars and deaths around the world for me to look up to it. I did my research, and I looked things up on the internet, and I realized that what I identified myself with the most was Agnosticism. I was an Agnostic all along, I was just too young to realize. I do believe that there could be a God (although, if in the future strong scientific evidence is found that God does not exist, I would be okay with that too), but I do not think it is within our abilities to fully understand and know such a force (much less spend billions and billions on it and fight wars in it’s name and divide humanity into different groups that believe different things rather than unite them for one cause and for peace). I do not commit myself to any religion, because I do not believe in it.
I know there are lots of people who will have their issues with what I believe in – but they are entitled to have their opinion, as am I. But I also know of a few others who believe the same things I believe in, and this gives me comfort.
Well, I’m glad that’s out into the world now.